So I recently got out of my short stint of blog life due in part to several reasons, but most noteably was the indolent behavior (indolent is a new vocab word for me...I asked my wife for another word instead of lazy). What I attribute the cause of my behavior to were the many snow days we had at school. Instead of actually getting stuff done that I needed to get done, I did a bunch of meaningless tasks... thinking much about my blog, but lacking the motivation to do something about it. I do however have a list of 10 posts which I plan on writing soon.
It is strange how if we aren't careful, our circumstances can drastically affect the decisions that we make in our lives. I get so wrapped up in what is going on around me that I often miss what is the most important. Usually the people who are most affected by my decisions made in these cases are the people who are closest to me. I guess that I was really reminded of this with my first real feeling of spring today... I realized that for the past 5 springs, I have had most of my time taken away in coaching a sport. I am really looking forward to having this 'coachless' spring. I feel a renewedness (is that a word?).
I promise to get some of my list of posts up soon. Thanks
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3 comments:
first of all this has nothing to do with your last blog. and i realize that this will be posted for everyone to see, but it's ok because there's nothing private here. besides, it's buried in the comments and you may never even see it. it seems to me kind of odd to choose to communicate with you through your blog site since i have your email address. but for some reason this seemed appropriate.
remember back in the day, when we'd spend all those late nights at 655? nights when we should've been doing physics homework or getting a good night's rest or whatever. and we'd all sit on the couch out on the front porch watching the cars go by. we'd stare past the tree and across the street into the darkened park and talk about girls and life and who we were supposed to be and what we were supposed to be. and everyone was honest. we held nothing back and had to answer any question asked of us and answer it truthfully, even if it was hard. it was the couch, we had to be honest...it was a rule.
i think that that's exactly what we were supposed to be doing. now, you're a principal and i'm "teaching" english to kids that can't understand me when i speak to them. neither one of us needs to know what happens when you drop a bowling ball from the roof of a 10 story building. what i learned on the porch is far more important.
i'm sure i listened mostly. i probably didn't have much to say then because my life was fairly uncomplicated. i wasn't ready to think about the real world and i certainly didn't want to think about my part in it. i didn't really want to think about the next day. i was very content to just be where i was, which also has some value. i didn't see it at the time, but sitting on that couch was a lesson in relationships. what is clear to me now is that in order to love, you have to become vulnerable first. if you offer yourself, it must be your whole self. love mixed with selfishness isn't really love anymore. defense mechanisms only stop you from fully loving.
i feel so close to you and the guys, and now, your families. you are all my family. and i think the reason for that is because the seeds of our friendship were planted there on the couch. and they grew from honesty, vulnerability, and love. i didn't know then how rare and precious that stuff is.
my girlfriend, callie, and i were recently talking about how we don't really know God like we want to. there's more to Him than what i know. i've always known that but didn't know how to go deeper. i still don't. but as callie and i were talking i thought about the couch, and how i wish all relationships could be like the ones we formed there. and i decided that i was going to invite God to the couch with me. and i will keep doing that until we're better friends and i've stopped doubting and hiding things from him. and you and anyone who reads this officially has permission to remind me to do so.
just thought i'd share.
I hope Nick has a blog, because that was a great post....and I'm still waiting for your list....waiting...waiting....waiting...
Nick, Thanks for your message, sorry it has taken me so long to get back, I am starting back at this blogging thing...I am also going to be emailing you soon.
Your comment was awesome. I agree completely. I learned more in those nights on the couch on the porch than I have in just about anywhere, especially than when repeatedly working the bowling ball problem in college Physics.
Thanks for being you... Thanks for being honest... I miss you greatly and look forward to the next time we get to be together... which hopefully is sooner than later (Korea isn't really that far away???)
BBEARD
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